Summer Loves...

So I'm seeing a re-occurring trend of list making in my blog, and I must admit, I don't hate it. There's just something about lists that make everything SO much cooler! I don't know if it's the actual process of me coming up with the bullet points, or the fact that i like what I'm listing? i dunno. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and become "that gay". You know. The "Administrative Assistant" (a damned secretary) *rolls eyes) In the famous words of my love Ms. Whitney Houston, "Hell to the no Bobby!"

Anyway that's neither here nor there, back to my list...list...list...ahhh here we are. The list I shall create today will be one that everybody in Chicago lives for: The Summer List. A list consisting of the things that Chicagoans wait SO long for. You know...Because we only have two seasons: Winter & Summer.(UGH) There's no transition at all. One day it bitterly cold like freezing, and the next day it's 90 in the shade (feels like 115 with all the humidity). But you guys all know, I'm never one to complain (If it were possible to be giving my self the "evil eye", I'd be doing so).

So I'm not really sure what others are doing with their summers here in the "Second City", but since summer official began for me I've been doing, and shall continue to do the following, among other things that I shall list here.

1. The BEACH!!! North Avenue beach though, not Hollywood. I can't bring myself to go there. I'm not too good for it or anything, but I can't handle all the gays. I mean love my kindred spirits, but I can't handle them in large amounts, and Oak Street Beach has a few more ghetto people than I'd like and is littered with way too many tourists with their speedos and odd shapes, they lack the shame that most fat Americans have. I mean honestly some people should not...SHOULD NOT wear a two piece bathing suit, or a speedo.

2. Day drinking: start drinking the cheap wine and beer at least around 12 noon, 2 pm at the latest. By around 6-7 move on to the good wine for dinner time, at around 10 break out the good stuff. In a nutshell, wine and spirits during the day-hard stuff at night. You need to be well drunk by the time you go out. Who wants to spend time and money at the bars getting drunk? Too expensive. There's a recession out there I'm ballin on a budget. Plus, time should be spent doing other things at the bars, like dancing and...

3. Sex: ugh I don't wanna talk about it.

4. Coffee & Crosswords: Before it's time to day drink. One should always make time to sit on the patio at Starbucks and have a coffee do a crossword, and watch people. One of my favorite pass-times. People are so funny...and stupid, and I mean that in the least bitchiest fashion. But they are. Watch them. You'll See.

5. Work: I guess that comes in at some point, huh?

6. The Taste of Chicago: one word: food.

7. Free Museum Days!

8. Six Flags Great America: although they may be going bankrupt, they are still arguably the best theme park ever!

9. Lollapalooza: I shall probably be drunk for most of it. I am not as excited as every other gay is to see Lady Gags...she's not my favorite.

10. CHICAGO PRIDE FEST!!!: OK so this year for pride I plan to go all out. My first year Pride '08 I was a bit too drunk, last year '09 I was waaaayyyyy to sober, but this year. oh Plan on loosin myself. I mean why not? It's pride! I owe it to myself to get loose and find an alley with an attractive stranger to give my carnal treasures to. Lord knows I won't have to go and buy any condoms!...

So there it is kids, my summer 2010 bullet list. This is going to be an epic summer. I'm more than sure of it... oh and about #10 about half of it may be a fallacy. I mean look at me. I'm too damned scared to do something that crazy...peace